(This is kind of long, so if you don’t have time to read it, just scroll down for the last two paragraphs.)

Let’s start with the vacation history of Mitch and Wendy.

1. Our first oversees trip was to Europe in September 2011. We had landed in Holland the day the planes flew into the World Trade Center. Our friend, Egmont, had just moved back to Holland recently, and we had plans to visit him while we were there. The events of 9/11 made us very unsure of our future, so we started thinking about Plan B. Egmont had a three bedroom flat at the time, so we were going to finish our European vacation, and then move to Utrect to live with Egmont.
2. We went to Yelapa on our Honeymoon. Yelapa has an island mentality even though it is on the mainland of Mexico. The reason it has an island mentality, is because you can only get there by boat. The jungle is too thick to drive through and no one has the money to cut it down and build a road. There are only 1,500 people in Yelapa. There is no police presence and it is a very mellow place. They had just gotten electricity three years prior to our visit. They have one openly gay man named Saul who makes the best huevos rancheros in the world. For years, the tiny fishing village of Yelapa was the refuge of Bob Dylan, Dennis Hopper, and other cosmic caballero types who gathered in search of lonely beaches, cheap tequila, and readily available hallucinogens. We met some Americans who re-located to Yelapa and sold their art to the tourists. I was starting a craft business at the time, so it sounded like the ideal living situation. We were going to move to Yelapa.
3. We met our friend, Tony, in Costa Rica for two weeks the year I had sabbatical from work. The plan was–an nice american hotel the night we landed and we would stay in that same hotel the night before we left. Everything in between was left open to adventure. What should have been a two hour drive to the coast became a two day adventure lost in the remote parts of the mountains and jungles driving on roads that were not on the map and were barely wide enough for the SUV we were in. As the dusk was approaching that first night in the jungle, a very serene looking motel popped up out of no where. I think it was called Flaca Vaca (Skinny Cow) We checked in, had a few drinks and I saw my very first firefly. The cabin was clean and comfortable except that it didn’t have heat. We were pretty cold that night, but it was fun. We started our journey the next morning and landed in a town called, Matapalo. It is right on the coast and smack dab in the middle of a stretch of the great coast highway that is unpaved, so people don’t usually come this way. We rented from a charming French Canadian hotelier in a ramshackle cottage that boasted such amenities as: Termites! A Romanian Schizophrenic! Nocturnal Crabs that Climb the Walls! The best feature of all: No Hot Water! The hotelier wanted to retired and offered to sell the place to us. Mitch was determined to get into the hospitality business and move to Costa Rica.
4. Isadora learned to walk on our first visit to San Diego, so surely it was a magical place. It has cute little bungalows, dog beaches, tasty burritos and awesome weather. It’s close to our favorite vacation destination (Mexico), so yeah, let’s move to San Diego!
5. Mitch’s sister lived in an Oregon coastal town called Nehelam. Just north of Nehelam is a cute little town called Manzanita. The last time we visited there, we rented a cute 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house near the beach for a week. We were so used to only having 1 bathroom, someone was always knocking on the door to check the status of availability whenever it was already in use. After the first day, we understood the luxury of two bathrooms. We want to retire here. We started looking at real estate that we could purchase and rent out to a family or as a VRBO until retirement time. Since Leslie, was so close, and she’s already a savvy real estate mogul, we knew we could rely on her to manage it for us. We’re going to move to Manzanita in 20 years!
6. Leslie just moved to Portland, and Mitch flew up to visit and help her get her technology in order–wifi, software upgrades, transfer music and movies, etc. He had a wonderful visit and met a lot of her friends who were very nice. The area Leslie lives in is truly amazing–she’s walking distance to so many awesome stores and restaurants. She’s close to transit, which is free to use within her district. There’s space, greenery, dogs, mellow people, awesome architecture, great food and entertainment, lots of families, good schools, etc., etc., etc. We looked at some real estate, and my goodness! It is affordable! There are Mandarin schools in Portland! Who knew? The only thing Portland doesn’t seem to offer that San Francisco does, is diversity. Let’s move to Portland! We’ll be close to family, and we already have a lot connections.

So, can we review the theme here? We always want to move where we just spent our last vacation. The one difference is that Portland could actually be a reality. It is the first time that we really, truly identified somewhere that we know we could live and work and thrive that is not San Francisco.

We have a lot of support on the other side of the California/Oregon border to help us move up there. We have people looking for jobs for us, others looking for housing. It’s amazing how folks have opened up and reached out to us. Who wouldn’t want to embrace that kind of welcoming community?

Believe me, it is not without some trepidation on my part. I’ve lived in San Francisco for 23 years. Today marks my anniversary! I have worked for the same company for nearly 13 years. I have lived in the same building for 10 years. I don’t make big life changes frequently.

I am a little freaked out about this, but I am also loving the fantasy in my head where we have 2 bathrooms, a yard for Isadora and a dog, a garden for me, and a man-cave for Mitch. I’ve been told that we can have all of that right here in San Francisco and that we just need to get out of our neighborhood. We can’t afford to move anywhere in the city. Houses are still too expensive, and rents have skyrocketed because no one can afford to buy. If we leave our current place, we’ll be priced out of San Francisco.

Alameda and Oakland were also thrown out as options. I would consider those towns, but Mitch won’t.

Here’s the reality.

1. I am working at a job that I really like. I work a lot. I work hard, and I am challenged daily. I like a lot of the people I work with and I enjoy my projects. However, Mitch and I are jealous of each other’s situation. I want a chance to work part time and take care of the house and run Isadora all over town for her activities. Mitch wants full time work and a challenging and stimulating work environment and to be the lead contributor to the household.
2. I am completely head over heels in love with Isadora’s pre-school and so excited that they are expanding to K-8. I want to keep her there. Then Jen posted about the price of tuition for the education there (preschool through 8th grade). The price tag is $250,000. I threw up a little when I saw that number. I’ve only been thinking in terms of one year at a time, and how we’re going to scrape the money together for tuition. I after everything I went through to get her in to a good school, am certainly not turning my back on it with out a superior replacement option regardless of the price.
3. We want Isadora to be able to walk to school, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her walk south on Leavenworth by herself to traverse the gauntlet of junkies, drug dealers, prostitutes, lunatics and whatever else is lurking on the corners. I am certainly not going to send her to our local public school where classes are overcrowded and underfunded.
4. Isadora loves dogs like I’ve never seen. She deserves to have one, but they are not allowed in our building. It’s nearly impossible to find a dog friendly building in San Francisco, and if we do, it’s kind of disgusting–and way too expensive.
5. My company is a pink-slip machine. We’ve been having layoffs monthly. It’s only a matter of time before I get mine. We would be fools to not come up with a plan B in the event of a layoff. After Mitch’s visit to Portland, our Plan B is to look for jobs up there and see what pans out.
6. We also have this fantasy that if we relocate, to Oregon, then our parents will too. I know Mike and Suzanne have already expressed interest. I’m going to see what my mom thinks when she comes to visit today.

In summary, we are going to continue living our lives in a city that we have loved and continue to love (maybe only just a little bit less).

For those of you who are panicking about our announcement, you can relax a little. Those of you who are encouraging, you can relax a little too, but keep sending us job leads! We need to have something lined up in order for us to relocate.

I still can’t understand why people pin self-centered and over-privileged labels on only children. Do people who use those labels honestly think that kids with siblings are more inclined to put others needs before their own? What is it about having brothers and sisters that automatically makes you less selfish than an only kid? Isn’t it also the classic Psychology 101 assumption that the oldest kid is forced to take care of the younger kids and is resentful about it, the middle kid is invisible and trying desperately to get someone’s, anyone’s attention, and the youngest kid is coddled and grows up a spoiled rotten brat.

Labels suck, don’t they?

From what I’ve seen there is more competition to get mom and dad’s attention when there are multiple kids around and some go to great lengths to try and stand out from the pack of siblings, whether it is excelling in school or acting out criminal behavior. Also, if you’re the type of person who is drawn to new shiny trinkets and loads of scheduled activities, you’re going to buy them whether you have one or ten kids. Over-indulgence is a parenting choice regardless of how many kids you have.

Our budget is stretched with just one. We moved from a one-bedroom rent controlled apartment that we lived in for 10 years to a two-bedroom apartment priced at market rates shortly after our daughter was born. We had tons of hand-me-downs and she was breast-fed. As soon as the hand-me-downs dried up and she was eating solids, our food and clothing expenses soared. There is just no way we can afford a third bedroom and another mouth to feed as long as we stay in the City (and we have no intentions of leaving).

I’m an older mom and I was very active before I had my daughter, but there are days when I just can’t keep up with her. I see other parents (and nannies) at the park who are taking care of more than one, and I’m exhausted just watching them. Some make it look really easy, but most look and act completely frazzled and just about to loose what little composure they have left.

Also, my daughter started sleeping through the night about six months ago, and I’m finally starting to feel rested. The idea of starting all over again brings tears to my eyes. I don’t think I can take another year and a half of sleepless nights.

Mitch and I are able to have me time. He has his weekly poker game, and has a beer with friends at least once a week. I’ve just started enrolling in classes again and making plans to see my friends. We also have time for us. We’ll get a sitter so we can go out for dinner or to see a band. I don’t know many parents with more than one kid who says the same thing. They spit out very acidic comments about how they *used* to be able to do stuff before the second or third kid came around and now they just couldn’t possibly do stuff like that. That kind of self-imposed martyrdom is not appealing to me.

Siblings aren’t always great friends, and you just never know how things are going to work out with your set until they exist. It’s another reason why we stopped at one. Many people told me that they didn’t really start liking their brothers or sisters until they were adults well into their 20s and 30s. There was a lot of strife and bad blood between them and their siblings, and it took years to get over that. Some were close in age and most would assume that everything would work perfectly, but it didn’t in their cases.

From my experience, only children can’t rely on the convenience of a live-in playmate, and they learn how to develop friendships with other kids a lot easier than I think siblings are able to do. I’m an only child, and I grew up okay with not having a brother or sister. Of course, there were occasions when I wished I had a sibling, but it’s natural to think you want what you don’t have. In general, I was very happy growing up as an only child and I have several very close childhood friends who, to this day, are like family to me.

So far, our daughter warms to people easily, and she’s never been shy around others. She has a BFF that she sees several times a week (another only child) and they are developing a great friendship. It’s hard to predict whether our daughter’s experience is going to be like mine in the long run, but we’ve made our decision and we’ll just have to see how it turns out in the end.

Placerville photos

Fifty hours off the grid. No cell phone, no email, no internet, no television, no radio. You might wonder how we survived.

We prepared and ate lots of delicious food. Grilled chicken three ways: on a kabob, in a pita and on a salad. Grilled veggies, noodle salad, watermelon, shrimp tacos with crispy fried taco shells. Ice cream. Yummy yum yum.

We played Pictionary and gossiped and shared parenting tips. We swam, then dried off, then swam some more. Several naps were had by all. And then I took some pictures.

I had a lot of fun playing with my Canon Rebel that Mitch gave me a couple of years ago. I’m taking a photography class now and I’m re-learning how to shoot with manual setting. I didn’t take any shots of the landscape. Being that it is high summer, everything is kind of dead looking. I’ll focus on landscapes next time we’re up there. It will be so beautiful in the fall when all the leaves on the oak trees turn colors.

I wanted to do some night photography, using a technique I learned in my photo class, but we happened to have a full moon that weekend, and the sky was too bright. Hopefully, next time I’ll have a little less light so I can play around.

I did portraits, both posed and candid. I’m really happy with how everything turned out. It also helped that I had beautiful subjects to shoot. I’m really getting the depth of field thing down, but still need some practice.

On Sunday, we woke to an overcast sky and a break in the heat. After breakfast, we decided to take advantage of the cooler weather and go for a walk on the property. As we were walking back to the house, there was a loud crack and then the sky lit up with lightening. It was awesome. Izzy didn’t think so though. She ran back to me and hugged my leg because she was scared. She wanted me to pick her up, but just then, the rain started. The drops were huge and I had my camera with me. I had to protect the camera from the rain, so I shoved it down the front of my dress and covered it with my arms. Mas was so sweet; he came running out with a plastic bag for the camera, but didn’t find us on the lower trail.

Izzy definitely didn’t like the thunder and lightening, and I was getting a little nervous about being in the forest while lightening was striking, so we high-tailed it back to the house. While I protected the camera, Sarah comforted Izzy and helped her walk back home. On our way back, a couple of young bucks crossed our path. It was so great to see them that close up!

We saw lots of wild life while we were there: a flock of turkeys, a doe and her fawn, quail, vultures, lizards, spiders. And we heard lots and lots of braying hound dogs.

I think one of the best parts about being in Placerville was the freedom the kids had to come and go from the house. Izzy went to the front yard, came back in the house and then headed out to the back yard, playing her little made up games or sitting in the dirt having her daily dust bath. It was the first time I’ve ever allowed her to be out of my sight. It felt really weird at first, but Sarah assured me that everything would be allright. It also helped knowing that there were three other adults and Bella helping to keep an eye on the kids. It was so nice to sit down, drink my coffee and have a conversation without being on constant alert. The country life ain’t so bad afterall.

Sarah, Mas, Ethan and Bella make a beautiful family and are a wonderful set of friends. They bring out the best in all who know them. We are so grateful to know them and have them in our lives. It was a magical weekend and I’m looking forward to our next trip up to their house.

First up, these adorable outfits made from patterns found on the Internet. The kimono top pattern is from Habitual, and the yoga pants pattern came from Mani Mina. (I also just bought her kimono jacket and spring dresss patterns too).

This one is for Izzy:

This on is for Anneke:

The Black Apple is one of my favorite artists on Etsy. I’ve been following her career since Etsy was still in beta. I love her work. Mitch gave me one of her prints for Christmas this year and I love it. The Black Apple appeared on the Martha Stewart show showing the audience how to sew her signature dolls. She also gave the pattern away on Martha’s site.

Here are my renditions–the blond for Anneke and the brunette fir Izzy. I also made matching purses using a pattern that I designed.

Finally, I made no see tutus for the girls. These were super easy to make. Just measure out some elastic to fit the waist. Secure the ends an then tie strips of tulle all the way around.

I made everything with the supplies I already had on hand except for the tutus. I had to buy tulle and elastic, but that only cost about $5 each.

Here’s Izzy wearing everything at once.

Mitch bought me a super fancy flash for my camera. I’m able to bounce light around at will and I’m so surprised at how awesome my photos are coming out. No more harsh shadows screwing up my perfect shots.

Izzy is practicing dressing herself a lot these days. I leave a bunch of clothes for her in her bottom dresser drawer that she pulls out and attempts to put on. One day, we had our laundry bag packed and waiting in the foyer. Izzy was able to reaj through the gate and rifle through the bag. She pulled out a few things and got busy trying to put them on. She has one each of my and Mitch’s socks on her legs. She’s got a pair of my underwear hanging around her knees, and she grabbed another one of my really long socks and wrapped it around her neck like a scarf. She’s quite the fashion plate, dontcha think?

And finally, since there is still a kitties component to this blog, albeit not as robust as the kid part, here is a fabulous photo of Izzy’s feline boyfriend, Kirby. Isn’t he just the best?

The day started off great! I made a double batch of Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal–one without nuts for the girls and one with nuts for us. It was delicious! I cleaned up the kitchen, and packed Izzy up for a trip to the neighborhood park and we headed out for an hour or so.

Izzy had a great time playing on the slides and swing. We had a snack of cheese sticks and I noticed she was getting a little sleepy. I popped her into the stroller and we headed home. We’d only gotten as far as one block before she fell asleep. I texted Mitch and asked him to prep her from for transition. It went seamlessly. (Thank you for a two hour nap!)

Off to the kitchen to make side dish and dessert.

I decided to make Creamy Pumpkin Pasta for my side dish to take to the Thanksgiving potluck at Cafe Royale. I was feeling ambitious, so I also decided to make an Apple Gingerbread Upside Down Cake since I happened to have all the ingredients on hand. In fact, I made a double batch so I could take another one over to Chuck and Mo’s when I stopped by their place for a second round of dessert. Herein, lies where everything goes slightly awry.

I started with the Apple Gingerbread Upside Down Cake. Everything was going well, but I was a little worried about the timing for baking. Despite living in this apartment for over a year, I’m still discovering the nuances of cooking with my beautiful vintage Wedgewood stove. The heat is really inconsistent, so baking is always a crap shoot. The recipe calls for 45-50 minutes at 325 degrees. Yeah, that didn’t work out so well. I had to put it in 30 minutes longer. In the meantime, I’ve started the Creamy Pumpkin Pasta recipe.

All at once, Izzy wakes up from her nap and is screaming bloody murder, the phone is ringing, Mitch is hollering about something, the timer went off for the cakes and I’m about to burn the turkey sausage. I’m on the verge of losing my cool at this point. Oh, wait, I think I did lose my cool. I’m pretty sure I started hollering back at Mitch over the cacophony of our screaming child. Oh yeah, and we’re already 25 minutes late to dinner.

Suddenly, there was peace. Mitch hung up the phone, Izzy stopped screaming, I stopped cursing the interruptions. I didn’t burn the turkey sausage, but momentarily forgot that the timer went off for the cakes. And then I smelled them. GAH! I pulled them out right away and noticed that one of the cakes (on the bottom shelf) came out perfect and the other cake (on the top shelf) came out burnt. Bummer.

We got packed up and headed out to the Cafe, and then I realized I forgot to make the whipped cream. Double bummer. Now what am I going to do with all that heavy cream? Make ice cream of course!

We got to the party in one piece (luckily we only had to travel as far as across the street) and in good spirits. The pasta and cake were the hit of the party, if I don’t say so myself. Those recipes will definitely make repeat appearances.

Oh, and the burnt cake? We started nibbling on it last night. It’s that good.

The party was a lot of fun. It was a great evening surrounded by wonderful friends. I’m truly blessed to have this life.

The congestion lightened up just a tad on Sunday and she seemed restless, so I took her to the park so she could run around a bit, but she didn’t have any interest in doing anything. She just wanted to be held and cuddled, so we went back home.

Mitch took her to the park today with the same results, so he came back home. I gave her a hug and noticed she was warm. She had a low grade fever–the first I know of. Poor little thing was so unhappy. I gave her dose of infant motrin, and she was doing much better within the half hour.

When I put her down tonight, her congestion seemed to be clearing up. She fell asleep easily and wasn’t snoring too much. I think the worst of it is over. I hope so, anyway. It just pains me to see her uncomfortable like that and I can’t seem to do anything to make it better. I think we’re on the downhill now, and hope she’ll have kicked this thing by tomorrow.

Mitch caught her bug too. He’s been fighting a fever off and on as well as congestion and aches. I’m escaping unscathed so far, and hope I can maintain my luck. I have a huge project due on 12/1 at work, and our aggressive launch schedule doesn’t have allowances for illness.

There was a lot to do at Arata Farm in a surprisingly small space. You could rent out picnic areas, there was a small train ride, a hay ride, haunted house, hay bale maze, sword fighting show, bounce house, barbecue. You name it, they had it. Except for clean bathrooms. They didn’t have those.

We walked around the property a bit after the petting zoo and took some amazing photos of our beautiful kid.

Izzy spent several minutes trying to move and pick up this pumpkin.

When she got really frustrated, I helped her find a pumpkin just her size.

Here’s Izzy and her Children of the Corn moment.

Awesome family day out and about.

Man, we need to get a modeling contract for this kid. She looks really commercial in this photo, but I think she has the potential for high fashion. Look at her eyes! She’s smizing. Tyra would be proud.

We were walking around the pumpkin farm, and I was thinking to myself…You know what this place really needs? A giant metal, rust covered gorilla. And like I said earlier, this place has EVERYTHING (except clean bathrooms)!

We stopped by the bounce house when we first arrived and tossed Izzy in there. She wasn’t interested, so we pulled her back out. There was a climbing structure with slides and bridges that she was more interested in, so we took her to that instead. Later into our visit, we went back to the bounce house and threw her back in.

She was having a really good time. There were two adorable little girls, sisters, showing Izzy how to have fun in the bounce house. The three of them were great. Then a bunch of rowdy boys showed up and it was absolute mayhem. The older girl was protecting Izzy from the roughhousing until I could get in there and pull her out. There was another little girl about Izzy’s age that I rescued while I was in the house. I have a feeling if Izzy sees one of these again, she’s going to scream to get in.

It was time to pick out pumpkins. I didn’t want any of the big ones from the patch. Not going to deal with carving this year, so I sat Izzy down while I looked through their smaller pumpkins and gourds. They had some really neat looking pumpkins. I wanted to take more photos, but my camera battery died.

Izzy has been incredibly affectionate lately. She picked up this ear of corn, cradled it and gave it a hug.

Here’s my selection of pumpkins and gourds.

I should have gone to bed hours ago. I can’t believe it’s 1:00 in the morning. I’m going to pay for it tomorrow when Izzy wakes up bright and early. I won’t be able to sleep in tomorrow because my friend Kevin is coming over to show me how to make homemade fresh mozzarella. A few years ago, we attempted to make cheese several times with one mildly successful batch. He took a class recently at Urban Kitchen and now understands where we went wrong on all of our other attempts. I’m so excited about the prospect of finally getting this thing done right!

We went to the Academy of Sciences today with Grandma Judy. We found the secret little kids room, and popped inside. It was totally awesome! There was so much fun stuff for kids! I know where we’re going to spend every rainy Sunday morning this winter. (Allyson: Let me know if you and Anneke would like to join us. We’re members and we can all get in for free!)

There was a play house, a tree, a pond and best of all a sailboat complete with a galley. Izzy went straight to the galley and started whipping up tasty treats for all to enjoy.

We absolutely have to get her this play kitchen from Ikea for Christmas.

There was a tray full of plastic bugs to play with.

Izzy and Grandma Judy played with puzzles.

Izzy wore her fabulous new dress from Elena today. It was adorable and she’s such a little girl–loves to wear dresses. She looks kind of pissed off in this photo, but she wasn’t. She was just trying to figure out how to step down off the curb and in to the grass.

We ate dinner on the back patio and then gave Izzy a bath. Finally exhausted and feeling some relief from a combo of homeopathic and pharmacuetical remedies, she fell asleep. We missed the fireworks. Thankfully, she slept through all of the noise.

I woke around 8:30 this morning, and read in bed while Mitch and Izzy continued to sleep. I heard Mitch mumble something so I turned to look at him. He was talking in his sleep. Izzy, lying next to him, must have heard his voice because the corners if her lips curled up into a smile. I wonder if they were in the same dream.